All right this may be kind of... uh... to put it bluntly, different. Just gonna get that out there. It was originally in a novel form so it's gonna be different. I wrote it a while ago, so it's not perfect, and I have been planning to touch it up a bit. The intro is just supposed to give some background info that isn't really important, sorry if it's confusing. I guess it's rated T.
This passage relates an epic tale about a figure named Jobi-Wan-Kenobi. He tells the story. The passage was recovered by a team of astronauts. These astronauts were on vacation in Utah since they had been given some time off. Whilst walking in the desert one member of the team claims
“…I saw something glint in the sky. At first I thought it was a plane, but after a few moments, I glanced back up and saw it again in the same spot except bigger. I pointed it out to my friends and we all watched it. After a minute, we determined that it was not aliens but in fact something falling from the sky…”
There is video evidence of this event as one of the astronauts had a camera on their phone. The object was a small capsule that seemed like a pill the size of a baby opossum. The capsule was brought to some experts who’s names and occupations will remain confidential for reasons that are also confidential. Inside the capsule was a data stick. I would call it a flash drive except that it was smaller, rounder, and had no usb output.
The experts made a cable that fit the data stick’s output and had a usb output on the other end. When they hooked it up to a computer, the data stick took over. At first the experts tried to stop it because they believed it was uploading a virus or something. The data stick could not be pulled out. The flow of electricity between it and the computer was creating a very strong magnetic field that made it impossible to remove the data stick or its adjoining cable. They could not do any computer stuff to stop it.
They decided to simply watch what the data stick was doing. They could only tell that the data stick was going through all the information on the computer. The experts were not worried because the computer was isolated from the Internet and all other computers. It also did not have any useful or potentially dangerous data on it. It was clear, though, that the data stick contained much data and programming, as well as wares of both hard and soft quality.
Eventually, the data stick stopped. It uploaded its programs to the computer just like it originally should have. It contained a few word documents. The first was an explanation as to what had just occurred.
“…I apologize if what just occurred alarmed you at all. It needed to be done, however, because I could not risk you damaging any of the contained documents. The data stick ran a program to use the information that it had available to convert all of its data into whatever your language might be. If you are reading this, it means that it was successful. The other documents contain information that I want you to have…”
The contents of the other documents follow. I assure you that these documents are real. As to whether they are fact or fiction remains unknown. Please enjoy the Epic of Jobi-Wan-Kenobi.
Is it on? Oh it wrote that cool. Now what if I don’t want it to write something? Shoot. How do I turn it off? Where’s that manual? Is it under the cot? No. The table? Crap, where is it? Here it is under the sheet. Let’s see. Table of Contents. Intro, how to install, how to turn on, how to use, computer info, how to edit, how to turn it off, there we go. Page 40. Uhhhhhh, choo choo choo chooooooooooo. Oh there…
That was the first time that I ever used this thing. I thought, I’d save that little tidbit. I did not yet know how to use this thing. If you do not know what I am talking about, hold on, I’ll explain. This is a mental journal. That is an implant in my brain. It transmits my thoughts to a writing program on my computer, which I can later edit. It then stores each entry as a different segment and tells you who’s thoughts these originally were and denotes them as the “writer”. I can later edit this entry as if it were a regular writing document. It indicates whoever the editor is. I do not know why it has no dates. They are not anywhere, at all. That is weird.
I am compiling these entries into one big journal, which I plan to send into space for other sentient life, in case there is any, to read. I hope that you sentient beings will read this and find peaceful intentions for my planet and know our current situation. By the way, I wrote both of these passages in the hospital.
So yeah, slow. It's a novel, and it's really long. If anyone is interested I'll post more. It does take a while to pick up, and it's... weird, okay I know.