Disclaimer: This battle is not my own, it is written by DFW user Elgb333 and I have secured his permission to repost the battle from the wiki onto here. If you want to see the battle in its original blog format complete with weapons, x-factors, "Expert's Section" and votes, click here. If you want to leave some comments based on the blog and/or this post, please feel free to do so in the section below.
Prologue
Gotham Stadium. 1:00 pm
It was a quiet night for Gotham's great sport stadium. A full moon shined luminously over it's sleeping playing field. Gentle breeze brushed the grass softly with a low hum. And no people can be seen or heard; a contrast to its usually noisy and crowded feel. This was the place where people cheer for their heroes, where athletes grunt and fight one another, and commentators fill the air with rubbish remarks. And so it was highly unusual indeed to see it silent as this. Yet, one can never learn that silence too hides the creeps who are up to no good.
In the announcers table, one can see a very grotesque sight. A creepy, disgusting, midget-like mite floats and bounces on every part of the room. The little man hovers in the air and presses the buttons for fun like a little child, or an abomination no God in this world could have though of existing. This little man was none other than the great Bat-Mite; a preposterous and annoying Batman-figure and the Dark Knight's greatest and number one fan.
"Oh dead oh dear. What to do? What to do?" Bat-Mite said. "This night's sooooooooo boring. Oh what should I do? What can I do?"
Batmite sits down on a chair and slides back and forth across the room. "Dammit. Should I summon the Joker? Or sea-monsters? Or Doomsday? Maybe that Henry Cavill guy? There's gotta be something to make a great battle for Batman."
And then, literally a yellow light bulb lit up above his head, signalling that his devious mind has concocted something sinister. "I got it!" Batmite said with a grin he ripped straight out of the Grinch cartoon. "**** Batman v Superman. Dudez this fight's gonna rock your knickers!"
With a smile, a wink, and a snap of his fingers, he summons his powers to bend reality. A distortion appeared in the fabric of space and time; as if the two elements started to twist, turn and spiral out of control. Lightning spewed out of nowhere, holes in reality started to appear, and finally... two dark figures emerge into the center of the field.
Everything else went back into silence even though the debris and carnage still remained. In the center of the field were two men, who looked and dressed like the iconic Batman. One was an old-battered Batman wearing his iconic cape and cowl, while the other was a dark capeless figure with a red bat symbol on his chest. Nonetheless, both of them couldn't believe their eyes at what was happening at that moment. Batmite then welcomes them with a maniacal laugh and the two Batman were startled.
"Who the hell are you?! And where the hell am I?!" the young Batman, named Terry McGinnis, asked.
The other Batman just ignores him and observes the place where he's at. A grizzled veteran himself, he knows exactly what was happening, though he feels just as pissed nonetheless. "Great..." he sighed.
Batmite on the other hand, teleported just right above the arena. Now towering over them, he snaps his fingers and reality was distorted yet again. The two Batman can only look strucked at the power this little Batman was showing. And as the distortion of reality finally ends, the stadium was again filled with people. Not just ordinary people... but different versions of Batman, just as what Batmite has ordered. There was a Batman who was Russian, a Batman that looked like a nosferatu, there was also a Batman that looked like a Victorian vampire, a Batman that was a frigging GREEN LANTERN (!), a Batman that looked like he was from WWII, a campy Batman from some crazy what-the-hell-where-they-smoking 60s TV show, a Batman that looked the devilishly handsome Christian Bale (who also sounded like he swallowed a marble), a Batman that looked like... an owl, a Batman with bat-nipples, a Batman who sounded like Kevin Conroy, Ben frigging Affleck, and a gritty wartorn Batman who was oviously ripped from some fighting video game probably developed by the sadists who made Mortal Kombat. And so much more.
All Batmen were silent, still confused and untrusting of what was happening. Batmite, who was still towering over them like a God, spoke, "Greetings to all Batmen. It is a great honor to be with you. Yeah I know. A lot of you are probably busy fighting crime or preparing for whatever tragedy that may fall upon you (like a dead sidekick or finding out you have a son or preparing to fight that guy from the Social Network). But please, offer me this night to bring you entertainment beyond one of your wildest dreams!!!"
After that Batmite started giggling like an excited fanboy and said, "I can't believe this is actually happening. Reddit and Comic Vine's got nothing on this shit."
All the Batmen just looked with awe and disgust at that little Batmidget floating in midair. But Batmite himself just said with enthusiasm, "Just like what Jesse Eisenberg said. This is the "greatest gladitorial matchup in human history!" Two of the greatest future versions of the legendary Batman... right here baby... to fight to the DEATH!"
Finally having had enough, Terry shouted in defiance at his little captor, "Enough of this. You are going to return us back home you freak!" The he and the older Batman drew their batarangs and throw them at Batmite. The other Batmen also simultaneously drew and threw their Batarangs as well. But Batmite just sighed and turn all those batarangs into butterfly puppies. He then snaps his fingers and all of the Batmen became paralyzed and immobile.
Batmite then changed his form into a giant now literally towering over them and said in a big booming voice, "Well so-orry party pooper. But I get what I frigging want! When I want a battle to the death between two Batmen. I GET THAT BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!!"
His voice almost wrecked all of their eardrums, and every Batmen couldn't help but stay put, be silent and obey. "Good," Batmite said. And then he appears right infront of Terry and the old Batman and said, "Batman Beyond... Goddamn Batman... I only want one thing and one thing only. For the two of you to fight to the death. It's simple. Whichever one of you kills the other. Gets home. The loser? Well he lose. And no consolation prizes. Understood?"
The two Batman just stood silent, their eyes fixated with mixed emotion at him. "Very well. Seems there are no objections (hehe)." Batmite then teleported himself back to the commentators box, changed his voice to sound like Michael Buffer and yelled "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!" Then the stadium suddenly became filled with all sorts of Batman-related miscellaneous like Batmobiles, Batwings, bat-propellant sprays you know it.
Then, a ring was heard that signaled the start of the fight. The two Batmen, now forced to fight to the death, looked at each other with contempt. With no choice left, all of them felt that it was inevitable.
But Terry, being the more reasonable one, tries to talk, "Listen. We don't have to do this. We're both Batman. We can think of something out."
The older Batman can only drew his batarang and aimed. "No kid. I don't got time for this. I have a war to finish," he said before throwing it at Terry, who immediately uses his rocket boots and wings to fly away.
"And by the way. You're NOT Batman. I'm the goddamn Batman."
Battle
The battle was on between the two future Batmen. Bruce made the first move, throwing every batarangs and bombs he had on Batman Beyond, but Terry just flew to the sky way out of his reach. His superior speed and agility allowed him to easily dodge all of the old man's toys like they were pebbles. Now knowing that there was no other way to calm the old Batman down, Terry finally decided to retaliate. He used his rocket boots to dash unto the goddamn Batman in blinding speed and pummels the old man square in the jaw that knocked his ass down to the ground. The goddamn Batman then tried to catch the flying Terry using his grappling gun, but again Terry just barrel rolled out of his range. Pissed, the goddamn Batman had no choice but toretreat but there nowhere for him to hide because the arena was an open battlefield, and Terry seemingly has the edge with his flight. "Hahaha you think that gonna be easy? Do ya?" Batmite jeered like a jerk.
Trapped, the goddamn Batman then grabs all of his smoke bombs and stun grenades and sprinkles them throughout the stadium. The bombs exploded simultaneously which covered the whole stadium with black smoke and fear gas. The goddamn Batman was trying to tip the battle to his favor by making himself invisible using the smoke. But Terry just smirks at his cute attempt due to the fact that his enhanced vision allows him to see Bruce through the thick smoke. Terry then unleashes his own bombs and made it rain throughout the stadium. The goddamn Batman tried to run but Terry carpet bombed the whole place, knocking Bruce to the ground. Terry then unsheaths his batarang and throws, slicing Bruce's thighs and making him yell in pain.
Terry then landed to the stadium to see if the goddamn Batman can still fight. "Ready to give up old man?" Terry asked Bruce who was still clutching his leg. "Shut up," the goddamn Batman said before throwing a Batarang of his own. Seeing the projectile fly towards him, Terry just threw another of his batarang that sliced Bruce's own batarang in two.
Seeing that the old man was in a disadvantage with his technology, Terry decided to finish this once and for all, so he aggresively lands on top of the old man and pins him to the ground. Now on top, Terry then pummels the old man in the chest continuously, breaking a couple of ribs. The goddamn Batman was hurt, but he counters with an elbow to Terry's jaw and grapples him to the ground. The goddamn Batman was now suddenly on top of him and quickly punches Terry in the nose and slashes at his face with his spikes. However, none of those managed to penetrate Terry's armor, and the young man turns his rocket boots on to get him off. But even though Terry was already in the air, he was suprised to see the goddamn Batman still clinging to his waist and punching his torso continuously.
Hurt but undamaged, Terry unleashes electricity from his Batsuit that shocked the goddamn Batman with a thousand volts of electricity. The goddamn Batman yelled in pain as electricity flowed through him, and he subsequently lost his grip and falls to the ground. His body landed on a 60s batmobile with a loud crash, flattening the vehicle like a pancake. Terry looks at the ground below him and sees the goddamn Batman lying on the wreckage; immobile and unconscious.
"Sorry it had to be like this," Terry said as he soar above the wreckage. But then he notices a small blinking light that was attached to his chest. The light turns out, was a bomb the goddamn Batman managed to stick into Terry while they were in the air. "Oh man," Terry can only say before the bomb blasted him out of the air. Crashing on the ground below, Terry tried to see if his batsuit was still functioning. The bomb damaged his wings and his HUD system, but so far his suit was still okay. Standing up and brushing the dust off of him, he couldn't believe that he didn't see that bomb in the first place.
But then, as Terry noticed, the ground started to shake. Dust started vibrating and the debris started jumping. He had a bad feeling about this, and as Terry looked in front of him, he sees a hulking monster walking straight towards him. "Kids these days. No respect. I think it's time I teach you a goddamn lesson," the goddamn Batman said, now sporting one scary looking armor.
"Oh that's not going to happen," Terry said. "But I'll tell you what's going to happen. After this you'll wish that you have stayed back in your retirement home."
Terry then threw his explosive batarangs at Bruce, but those didn't even made a dent. Bruce then dashes at Terry with his rocket boots, and pummels Terry straight in the face, sending him backflipping to the ground. The punch was so hard, that Terry's mask cracked and his pointy ears bended. Bruce then picks Terry up from his neck but the Batman Beyond Terry managed to unleash his wrist lasers unto Bruce. The lasers managed to scratch the goddamn batsuit's paint and Bruce retaliated by shoving Terry's face right back into the ground. Bruce then grabs Terry by the arms and rips his wings off his suit. But Terry then kicks his way out of Bruce's grasp and cloaks himself in invisibility.
The goddamn Batman tried to locate Batman Beyond but he seem to have disappeared. Suddenly, Terry's voice echoed in the stadium and taunted the old Batman. "I gotta admit old man, you surprised me there. But you have to know something. I'm the new Batman here. I don't know who you are but seeing that old discrepit face of your, you should know that you're way out of your league."
"You have no idea kid," the goddamn Batman just smirked.
Terry's voice continued to echo around the stadium, mocking Bruce in front of Mite and all the other Batman. "I may not be the world's greatest detective but I know a loser when I see one. You see Bat-gramps, I can tell that you should have given up a long time ago. You only wore that suit again because you're failed once as Batman. Trust me I know. That's the same face my mentor had as well. And his name... was Bruce Wayne."
And then, Terry suddenly appeared behind the goddamn Batman and swiped him with his claws, tearing a huge chunk of the Batman's armor. The goddamn Batman tried to punch back, but Terry dodged and went invisible again. He then appears again in front of him and swipes his claws deeper, taking off a layer of the Batman's bulky armor. Batman tried to punch him again, but Terry just rolled out of the way and jumped over the goddamn Batman's head and swipes at his helmet. Terry then landed behind Bruce and he used his wrist lasers at full power to destroy more layers that greatly thinned Bruce's armor, before turning invisible again.
The goddamn Batman was having enough of it. So he draws his sonic emmitter and sends waves after waves of powerful sound waves throughout the stadium. Walls cracked and everything started to fly everywhere. The other Batmen who were watching fell to the ground clutching their ears and shouting for it to stop, while Batmite himself just laughed. Terry was critically hit by these soundwaves which made his whole body vibrate violently and also ruptured his eardrums. The sounds left him lying on the ground in intense pain, but Terry managed to regain just enough focus to send an explosive batarang to destroy the emitter on Bruce's hand.
Before Bruce can get back at him, the goddamn Batman soon found multiple bombs attached at his own back, which mirrored what he did earlier while they were in the air. Impressed, he can only mutter, "Now wouldn't you look at that" before the bombs exploded and engulfed him in an fiery explosion, sending huge chunks of metal everywhere. With the goddamn Batman seemingly on fire, Terry tried to calm his raising heart.
However, Terry just couldn't believe his goddamn eyes when the old man just stood up from that explosion. "Oh come on!" he yelled in frustration.
Bruce's armor maybe damaged but he was still in fine shape. Bruce knew his armor could take it for he designed it to take on the most powerful superhumans from his own universe. And so there was no doubt for him that it can also take on whatever this punk can throw. Bruce then unexpectedly, removes his helmet and shows his old wrinkled face at everyone and smiles. He then grabs two batmobile in each hand and throws one at Terry. Batman Beyond easily dodged one, but he didn't see the goddamn Batman dashing towards him with the other batmobile, and smacks him with it that sent him crashing towards the wall of the stadium. Terry was now starting to lose consciousness and he can feel his own Batsuit losing power.
Bruce then started approaching the downed Terry at a slow and a tense pace. Terry tried to throw a smoke bomb but Bruce just walked through it like nothing. Frustrated, Terry tried to throw all of his batarangs but they just bounced off the goddamn Batman's armor. "No!" Terry yelled before running towards Bruce with his claws. He tried to swipe but the old man just dodged it easily. Terry made a roundhouse kick but Bruce caught it and threw him to the ground like a doll. Terry knew that it was almost over. He was no longer stronger nor faster, and his weapons were now useless. But he wasn't just going to give up just yet. With tenacity he yelled and tried to swipe at Bruce's face, but Bruce just punches him in the gut so hard that blood and fluid came out of his mouth and he lost his breath. Panting, Terry clutches his broken abdomen, as the goddamn Batman grabs a bomb of corrosive fluid and splashes it right at Batman Beyond's face.
"God!" Terry yelled as the chemical started to searingly and painfully melt his face. Terry managed to get his mask off quickly and threw it away. "Heh. A kid. Just as I expected," Bruce said as he sees Terry's cute baby-like face.
"Shut up!" Terry said as he charges with his remaining strength at Bruce. Bruce however, manages to catch Terry in a bear hug. As Terry struggled and squirmed, Bruce attaches his belt to the stadium wall's fusebox; electrocuting Terry with the whole city's electric power. Gotham City temporarily blacks out, and in the stadium, one can hear the cry of Batman Beyond being fried.
With the kid smoking and almost dying, Bruce stops, dropping the kid on the ground, and standing over him triumphantly.
Winner: Batman (Earth 31)
Epilogue
"Amazing! Just freaking amazing!" Batmite said clapping his hands with joy. He continued to cheer and cheer like a little kid which creeped the Batmen out. Now ready to congratulate his future winner, Batmite teleports himself towards the stadium in front of the goddamn Batman.
With his arms crossed and an evil look in his face, he commands Bruce. "Yes Yes Kill Him! Do it!... and take your rightful place at my side," he said while sounding like Emperor friggin Palpatine. But Bruce couldn't do it. No. He may have waged a brutal and bloody war, but there was no way he can kill. He stares at Terry's weakened face, and there he realizes, that the kid never wanted to kill him in the first place. Bruce may have fancied himself as the "real" Batman but he was the one who didn't act like one. He waged an endless crusade against evil and today in this little fluke in his life, he almost broke the vow he swore to uphold.
"No," Bruce said as he kneels down and clutches Batman Beyond in his arms.
Batmite cringed at what he saw. "Ew. Bat-romance. Not nice dudes." Floating above the air, he points at Batman and proclaims, "You are all my toy. All my idols. And like all toys I will do whatever I want with you. If I want a battle to the death... then I get that battle to the -"
Suddenly, a batarang flew and hits Batmite in the head, making him fall to the ground.
All the Batmen looked up, and they were all in silence as a dark figure emerges from the night sky. A dark cold sensation was felt by all of them in that stadium, and they can only look at awe and respect at the new Batman who just entered. And while they didn't actually knew it, the dark figure was none other than the original Batman himself: the Batman of Prime Earth who finally appeared to stop this nonsense.
"Oh man..." Batmite said as Batman grabbed him by the cowl and lifted him up like a toy.
"You've done quite enough Mite. You are going to send these people back."
"Oh come on Batman. Look at them. Aren't you excited at all of the many different versions of Batman that's in here right now. Each of these Batmen are unique, and hell, don't you want to exchange stories with them?"
"No!" Batman said as he shakes Batmite violently. "You will send these people back now!"
"Alright alright Jeez. Ever since the New 52 you've become less fun. Guess what even your movie version is getting a new reboot." Batmite said before he snaps his fingers and all Batmen started disappearing simultaneously. "You gotta pick up your pace Bruce. History may have been revamped but you'll never know what these DC writers are up to. You think Endgame was ****ed up? It will only get worse and worse in your pathetic life. And it will never end..."
As many of them depart, each Batmen gave each one a respectful nod and smile. For while they do not fully know or trust one another, they do respect each other for being a Batman.
As both the goddamn Batman and Batman Beyond started disappearing, Bruce looks at Terry who was finally regaining consciousness.
"This ain't over yet old man," Terry said.
"Oh. No. It's not over. Especially for you. You've still have a long way to go," Bruce said. "But remember this day kid. Remember this every time you don your suit and cowl, that today, THIS OLD MAN DEFEATED YOU..."
Then both Batmen were whisked away into their respected universes, now with knowledge and respect of each other.
Log in to comment