Exiles Mimic's Resurrection Comment Section

A couple of days age I started writing a short story called Exiles Mimic's Resurrection in the Fan-Fic Section of the Forum. Eneyway I was curious to hire what people think so far and I finished part 1 there are going to be 3 parts to the story. Im also putting this topic down because if people dont like it then im not going to finish it because I do not want to wast my time.

I just put up part 2 of Exiles Mimic's Resurrection in the Fan-Fic of the Forums.

Moved to fan-fic.

"Moved to fan-fic."

"Hmm, I read it like I promised too (is Jack the Ripper) and I have to say the story itself could be a great comic and that I like the idea actuall but if you want my advice I'd say to write it more detailed, right now it sounds like the summary of an issue that would be on the back of the comic but with more detail it could be a full short story, anyways, that's just my thoughts"

I have desided to not finish Exiles Mimic's Resurrection. insted I am going to write a new version under the title Mimic Returns. so heres a sample of the new version. was a good day the former Exile members Blink, Nocturne and T-Bird they injoying there vacation having a picnic at the beach. Then suddenly somthing unexpected happend they got a visit from a alien who called him self Ord he said that his universe was in grate danger from a evil mutant who called himself apocalypse in the universe were Ord is from apocalypse not only has his mutant powers but he also has the powers of the Gem of Cyttorak. Blink asks how can we defeat apocalypse? Ord replys simple we send the mutant Mimic to stop him. Blink starts to cry and tells Ord that Mimic is dead he was killed by the mutant proteus. Ord says no Mimic is not dead his body is being reperd as we speck I'll I will need is his mind. Nocturne asks weres his mind? Ord replys in the body of the mutant you call Morph. Blink asks why is Mimic's mind in Morph? Ord tells Blink and the others that everytime when Proteus takes over a body he also steals there mind and because Proteus is now in Morph now so is Mimic. Blink asks how do we get Mimic's mind back in his body? Ord says HE will do it. just then a figure appers next to Ord and says hello my name is Nate Gray but you can call me X-Man.

I think it could be a good story as well, with some nice battles...but here's my recommendation could you try and use quotation marks for speaking parts, it makes it easier to read

that way it would look more like:

Blink asks, "how can we defeat apocalypse?" Ord replys "simple. we send the mutant Mimic to stop him."

"I think it could be a good story as well, with some nice battles...but here's my recommendation could you try and use quotation marks for speaking parts, it makes it easier to read

that way it would look more like:

Blink asks, "how can we defeat apocalypse?" Ord replys "simple. we send the mutant Mimic to stop him.""

Well Good news I just did a rewrite of my story in the fan-fic section titled Mimic Returns.