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#1 Posted by TDK_1997 (17447 posts) - - Show Bio

All of the characters that are appearing in this story of mine are property of DC Comics and their rights are reserved.I am just using them for this fan-fiction of mine.

Origin Part 2

I heard him scream ‘’JASON!’’ and then I felt the pain.Batman came next to me for a matter of seconds I didn’t realize that he was next to me until I saw him disarming my father.I didn’t saw that my father had a gun and it looks like the old bastard wanted to get rid of me.I was reckless and didn’t saw him …….. how stupid!

My brother was afraid.He caught me before I fell but I was too heavy,he dropped me and fell along with me.All I could see was Batman who was hitting my father again and again and I even think that I saw him breaking his arm.And he was also yelling at him ‘’HOW COULD YOU?!HE IS YOUR SON?!’’ but right after I heard those words I faded away.


My body hurt too much.I was barely moving but I had to.I didn’t want the Bat right after me.John was helping me out through the blocks and I landed on the right rooftop after a lot of sidetracking.He was waiting me there with his laptop.

‘’What the hell happened man?Why didn’t you listen to me?’’he sounded so confident in his words but he knew that he was talking crap through the mic.

’Yeah,everything you said was just so easy for an untrained man to do.They were like 10 guys,how exactly was I supposed to stop them?!’’

I heard something moving behind me but I wasn’t sure if it was just the wind or something else but then we heard him ‘’The Red Hood,a?You’re a boy.’’It was Batman and he had found me.I didn’t have any logical explanation.


I heard the sirens.The ambulance was here and I was without my mask.Batman removed it.I was too dizzy to say a word but I saw him.He was worried about my condition and somehow that touched me in the right spot.Neither me or he knew why we were so close or why we had such a strong connection.


‘’That’s not a job for a 16 year old you know?It’s dangerous even for me and other guys that have trained for so much.And what the hell did you think you were doing,you almost killed that man?!’’

’I killed him.I shot him in the right spot.’’ I wanted to be confident but I didn’t know what I was doing.

‘’You just wounded him.You shot him close to the heart but not near enough.What are you trying to do?Trying to get yourself killed?’’

‘’I thought you put criminals behind bars,I almost killed a man,why aren’t you mad or trying to put me in jail?’’

‘’You are a misunderstood kid and I can see that the whole thing wasn’t your idea.’’ After he said those words he looked straight at my brother and then continued his speech ‘’You want some revenge but that is not the way to get it.But this is a warning after all,if I see one more time out there dressed like this you will have problems kid.’’ He knew that I won’t quite listen to him so he was ready for the worst but he wanted me to stop but I didn’t listen.


‘’So this is how we’re going to do it.First put your weapons on the ground and second,don’t try anything smart because soon there will back-up and you will end up in a difficult situation boys.’’Those were the most serious words that I have ever said and I loved it.Those goons were listening to me and two of them were the guys from last time.I had to learn who they were working with.

I went down the stairs of the warehouse holding an M-16 straight against them and they knew that I can’t be that stupid to come alone but actually I was.I was going up against a group of at least 10 goons who were trained by some mob boss who I had to find.But that was me,a crazy kid with a dream for some good life.

I was opening my eyes for any wannabe who would try something and might be able to shoot me but then I didn’t actually saw the guy that was hiding all of the time behind me.He was running too fast I couldn’t turn around that quickly and when I succeeded he succeeded in hitting me in the head with some crowbar.I was about to hit the stairs but I managed to hold myself up and ducked the next time when he tried hitting me and hit him the stomach instead.I trained a little after the last time and was ready for such things but I forgot about the gang behind me.

They started shooting and I covered myself with the body of the guy that attacked.It was all going to end in a bloody massacre.I got the M-16 and started shooting.My first time with a weapon.I hit a guy in the kneecap somehow,I got lucky but that guy didn’t.Some other guy got shot in the face and died right ahead but there was too much of them and I was running out of bullets and I didn’t have a place to hide.


I managed to wake up but I managed to do in the worst possible moment.The moment when I heard the nurse saying those god awful words.


TO BE CONTINUED………………………………

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#3 Posted by TommytheHitman (5474 posts) - - Show Bio

...didn't see that one coming...

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#4 Edited by TDK_1997 (17447 posts) - - Show Bio
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#5 Posted by RedHood13 (256 posts) - - Show Bio


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#6 Edited by TommytheHitman (5474 posts) - - Show Bio
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#7 Posted by TDK_1997 (17447 posts) - - Show Bio
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#8 Edited by wbr17 (3516 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty good opening scene, that was a good surprise

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#9 Edited by TDK_1997 (17447 posts) - - Show Bio

@wbr17 said:

Pretty good opening scene, that was a good surprise

Thanks man!

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#10 Posted by dngn4774 (5416 posts) - - Show Bio

@tdk_1997: Another good scene but you need to edit and proofread your work. Try to read your story back to yourself slowly 3 times, if you see something that you're not hearing in your head or if you're hearing something that you haven't put on the page make the necessary changes. Writing is a difficult artform because it requires concentration. As the author of the story, you get to decide which details are revealed or concealed from your audience. If you learn how to use that to your advantage it will make you a stronger writer.

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#11 Posted by cbishop (12341 posts) - - Show Bio

I was going to suggest reading this out loud to yourself as well. This installment is kind of a mess.