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#1 Edited by Bronze_Surfer (3071 posts) - - Show Bio

Charecters owned by DC Comics, Story is mine

Rating T+

Unknown Location

“Sir, we have found the test subjects you wanted and the serum is ready for administration.” The lady said to the man sitting in the giant leather chair behind the mahogany desk.

“Proceed with the experiment as planned, if it does not work make sure the second set of test subjects are acquired.” He said turning around showing his skull face. “And make sure that I get updates by the hour or so help me I will go to Warpath and find them myself.” He said taking the cigar out of his jaw.

No Caption Provided


Warpath, Arizona

“Umar, where is the remote?” Lydia Vakk called out to her brother who was sleeping on the couch directly across from where she was siting. Instead of a response all she got was snoring. “Umar!” she said throwing a magazine at his head with him falling off the couch.

“What the hell man?” he exclaimed getting up and grabbing his beanie from the coffee table.

“Where is the remote you had it last?” she said with him pulling it out of the in-between the seats and throwing it in her direction.

“There.” He said as he put on the beanie and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” she said as he shut the door behind him. “I swear...” she said as she surfed through the random channels. Right as she turned on the news her cell phone rang. It was her boyfriend, Doug Wentim. Answering the phone she heard a jack hammer in the background.

“What’s with all the noise babe?” she asked as it the noise dissipated.

“Just passing by some construction area, what is going on with you?” he asked with her moving a piece of hair out of her face.

“Nothing really, just watching TV.” She said as she heard a knock on her door. “Hold on babe.” She said getting up and going to the door. Before she could look into the peephole the door was kicked down and two men put a bag over Lydia’s head. “Humph!” she cried out as they dragged her away.

“Babe?” Doug said on the other end of the phone. “Everything ok?” he said as you could hear that he too was being taken by someone having a bag put on his head as well.


Diablo's Head, Warpath

Umar walked down the street smoking a cigarette while texting on his cell phone. He kept walking along until he got to a better kept house in the run down Diablo's Head. He went up ringing on the doorbell as he heard a voice from inside.

“Who is it?” the voice said carefully as the sound of a handguns safety going off was heard.

“It’s me, Umar.” Ral, Umar’s best friend and supplier replied as multiple locks we taken off and the door swung open.

“You can’t keep showing up out of the blue, I need more time to prepare so you will have to wait a minute before you can get any.” Ral said as he walked into another room.

“Take as long as you need Ral, I got all the time in the world.” Umar said walking into Ral’s kitchen taking a can of red bull. “How long until your brother gets back from his job?” he said taking a sip of the energy drink.

“He does not get back until even later tonight, he is going to play cards with his friends.” Ral said from the other room as noises of a plant being chopped up. Umar heard a scream on his phone signifying that he had a text from his sister. Before he could look down to his phone to see the text Ral came back into the room with a jar filled with a red liquid.

“This, this is the jackpot right here.” He said putting it down on the table with Umar picking it up, wide eyed at it. “Velocity 2, an upgrade from the last batch, twice the feel compared to Velocity 1’s.” he said as he took out a syringe and extracted some of the liquid.

“Man...With this we will make more money than I can swim in!” he exclaimed as he rolled up his sleeve. “You have got to let me test it.” He said as Ral took the syringe back.

“Not so fast man, I need to have some more pretests on a few rats before we...” he started to say as Umar took it from his hands.

“Consider me your lab rat.” He said thrusting the needle into his vein injecting himself with the Velocity 2. Ral looked at him with his mouth wide open.

“You idiot! That could kill you!” he said taking the syringe and pouring the rest of the liquid back in the jar, putting both away. Umar’s pupil’s dilated as a giant smile went across his face. “How do you feel?” Ral asked snapping his fingers in front of Umar’s eyes.

“Like Chester the cheetah drank a mix of red bull, monster, rockstar and pure canine.” He said faster than normal. Before Ral could study the effects of the drug he heard the sirens off in the distance.

“$h!t it’s the feds!” he said closing the curtains and putting the syringe and jar into a trap door underneath his kitchen table, covering it up with a carpet. He grabbed his emergency night away bag and grabbed Umar’s arm. “Come on man we have to split!” he said as he heard his glass shatter and a sharp pain in his neck. He reached for the pain felling what he thought was a tranquilizer. He pulled it out and threw it on the ground looking to Umar seeing one in his neck as well but the amount of adrenaline made him not feel a thing. He pulled it out of Umar's neck and started to move. He almost made it to the car as the police arrived in his drive way.

“Freeze!” they said putting their cars doors in front of them aiming their pistols at them both.

“F**k...” Ral said as he put his hands into the air and in an instant trees sprouted up under their car flipping into the air. “...What?” he said to himself as the cops were baffled.


Back of a Bar, Diablo's Head

“How much longer until they get here?” a masked man said as he stood by both Lydia and Doug, tied up with bags over there heads.

“I don’t know and I don’t care, whoever they even are they are paying us more than any other job we do, so wait fat@$$.” Another masked man said.

“Who are you calling fat@$$?” the other one said starting to argue as they both went back and forth.

“Enough!” A loud voice said coming into the room. “Whoever they are it is taking an extremely long time, unmask the boy.” The seemingly leader of the men said as the first masked man walked over to Doug removing the bag showing a sock in Doug’s mouth and putting a gun up to his head.

“Talk, who are you?” the man asked as glass shattered from the near roof windows with tranquilizer looking objects hitting both Lydia and Doug in the neck. All 3 of the men jumped back and pointed their guns at the ceiling.

“Spread out don’t let anyone...” the leader began to say as the second man was shot in the head with a sniper shot. The blood hit Doug in the face who was still biting the sock in his mouth.

“Forget the money, take them out!” the leader said pointing the gun at Doug and pulling the trigger. There was a loud bang and the sound of a bullet hitting a hard object. No blood though.

“Oh my god...this is a freaking powers gig!” the first masked man said running out of the room. The leader rubbed his eyes to make sure what he was seeing was real. The boy in front of him turned into pure stone before the bullet could hit him.

“Damn it...” he said as Doug stared there with his blank expressionless stone face. “Let’s hope you are not invincible too.” He said as she grabbed the gun out of his hand and crushed it in hers. She tore the mask off and raising her wrists to show the broken zip lock ties.

“No, but it looks like I have some super strength to make up for it.” She said with a pissed off expression while cracking her knuckles.

(I changed the names of the members of the Subs to modern day so here is who's who Umar: Color Kid

,Doug: Stone Boy ,Lydia: Night Girl, Ral: Chlorophyll Kid, That's all for now!)

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#2 Posted by Dr_Harlequin (755 posts) - - Show Bio

Ooo, they picked the wrong people to 'nap.

For a second there I was thinking Lydia and Doug were screwed.

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#3 Edited by dngn4774 (5416 posts) - - Show Bio

@bronze_surfer: I really liked the comedic elements of this. Thanks for explain things at the end, because for the first half of this I actually thought you wrote Bones into the 31st century.

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#4 Posted by Project_Worm (4270 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm not gonna lie I was confused like 30% of the time, it's interesting though looking forward to where it goes.

p.s. A final editing pass would serve you well in the future.

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#5 Posted by TommytheHitman (5476 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice modern version of the Legion!

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#6 Posted by batkevin74 (14388 posts) - - Show Bio

@bronze_surfer: It's a bit confusing because I'm not sure if its Legion? Is it?

But I do like the idea of just injecting Velocity to see how it goes :)

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#7 Posted by MakkyD (6971 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting will see how it goes. Your descriptions and dialogue are top-notch, however there is a few grammar mistakes, but it doesn't take away much.

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#8 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (6518 posts) - - Show Bio

Good job. That was surprisingly serious for a story about the Legion of Substitute Heroes...

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#9 Posted by cbishop (12341 posts) - - Show Bio
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#10 Posted by TheManInTheShoe (3998 posts) - - Show Bio

@bronze_surfer: Interesting start, and as some said, it was more serious than I thought it would be. Not very familiar with the characters but I'm looking forward to getting to know them.