Warning: Due To The Violence In This Fan Fic, This Is For Mature Readers Only
Punisher: No One Likes Us, We Don't Care
New York City- Abandoned Warehouse
A young man sits strapped to a chair, wearing only a towel. Blood trickles down his chin as he looks up and smiles at his four captors.
"What are you smiling about, super hero?" asks a big, fat man wearing green coveralls. "We captured you easy! You're in for a world of hurt once the boss gets here. Hey Nerd, what's this punks name?"
"Call me Mister Nerd, will you Garbage Man." replies a blonde haired man with glasses holding a laptop.
"Yeah, okay buddy. Mr. Nerd, with all due respect and yadda yadda, who the frack is this kid?" Garbage Man asks.
"The names Towel Boy. I'm here to wipe the sweat of evil off this city's brow." answers the young man from the chair. The towel wrapped around Towel Boys waist flew off him and wrapped itself around Garbage Mans face. "With the power to telepathically control towels, I will wipe the floor with your bu.."
Mr. Nerd backed away and yelled. "Dog Leash. Clock Breaker. Restrain Towel Boy."
Dog Leash, a man with a dog face who wears a leash with a spiked blade at the end, ran up to Towel Boy and snarled in his face while holding the blade to his throat.
Clock Breaker, a man wearing a long coat and a Victorian era lords outfit, walked daintily up to Towel Boy and put a soft hand on his shoulder. "My dear boy, you must simply stop this absurd outbreak. Dog Leash here is a ruffian who enjoys viole.."
The towel flew off Garbage Mans face and wrapped around Dog Leash's bladed leash, pulling the dog faced man right into Clock Breaker.Towel Boy unbound his restraints and jumped up on the chair. His towel wrapped itself around his waist. "I'm free. Ha ha! If you need a towel, Towel Boy will be there."
A giant swarm of flies swarmed the air, controlled by Garbage Man. Towel Boy swatted the flies as he dodged Dog Leash.
Clock Breaker took a clock out of his coat pocket and smashed it. Time slowed to a crawl for everyone in the warehouse except Clock Breaker, who simply stood up, brushed off his coat, walked over to a table, sat down and sipped some tea. Time sped back up.
Mr. Nerd talked on his cell phone. "Sir, we need you in here."
"Bollocks! Can't you blokes do anything?" replied the voice from the other line. "Sorry love. Gotta work."
A woman's voice began protesting.
"You got your bees and honey. Now it's time to go, innit?" The voice on the other line continued. "Alright Cow. I'll be there in three."
Five minutes later.
Towel Boy and the four super villains were at a standstill.
The door burst open.In strode an average sized, middle aged man with a receding hairline. He wore jeans, a leather jacket over a Millwall FC jersey and he was smoking Turner D. Century cigarettes. Looking at Mr. Nerd he asked. "Alright then, Cow. Watts going on?"
Mr. Nerd fumbled with his glasses. "It.. it's Nerd.. er.. Mr. Nerd.. sir."
"The hell do I care, Cow?" Looking at Garbage Man he said. "Hey bloater. Bin Man, yeah? Git rid of these disgusting blights."
Garbage Man backed away. "Sure boss!" His flies followed him
Dog Leash put his head down, grabbed his leash and pulled himself over to Clock Breakers table.
"Pathetic bunch, these lads," the boss said, pointing to his gang while talking to Towel Boy, who held his towel in a defensive stance. The boss continued. "I used to run with a mean bunch. F-Troop. Real nutters!"
"Who are you?" asked Towel Boy. "Why am I here?"
The boss smiled, took a drag of his cigarette, then answered. "The latter question you'll find out soon 'nuff. The former, who am I? That's a good question. I got a few different names. All you septic's like to go by code names, right? Super hero and villain names.You call yourself Towel Boy, right? I like that. You got balls mate. Hell, I can see 'em dangling there."
Towel Boy stood firm.
The boss continued. "You met my super villain gang. I call 'em The Rovers. Or the Dockers. They haven't earned the right to be called Lions, nor Bushwackers," he took out a copy of the Daily Bugle, on the cover it had Spider-Man dodging bullets from a man in a black outfit with a skull logo. "They'll never be good enough to be called F-Troop. No septic ever could, anyway."
He began folding the newspaper and continued. "As for me, well I keep it simple. A name that takes me back to South East London. Back to the Den." He folded the newspaper tighter, folding it in half. The paper took the shape of a brick. He smacked it against his fist.
"Call me Millwall Brick!"
He launched himself at Towel Boy, who whipped his towel at Millwall Brick, who deflected it with his makeshift weapon. Millwall Brick slammed himself against Towel Boy with incredible speed and above average strength. The young hero dropped to the ground as Millwall Brick climbed on top of him and began pummeling him with his newspaper brick.
"No one likes us," Millwall Brick began singing as he beat down on Towel Boy. "No one likes us""
SMACK
"No one likes us,"
CRACK
"We don't care!"
POP
"We are Millwall, Super Millwall!"
SLAM
"We are Millwall. From the Den!"
Towel Boy passed out.
**
Two weeks ago- New York City Docks
Punisher unloaded his M60 on gangsters bringing in drugs.
Bullets flew everywhere. Sweat dripped down Frank's forehead.
"Looks like you need a towel!" came a voice from above Punisher. He looked up to see a young man floating above him, sitting on a towel.
"What the hell?" Punisher asked. A bullet flew past his head. He began shooting back.
"The name's Towel Boy." the young man said. "I'm here to help."
"Get the hell out of here, kid."
**
Towel Boy opened his eyes. Millwall Brick was standing over him, blood dripping down his newspaper bludgeon.
"Get help!" Towel Boy whispered to his towel, which flew off his body, up through the air and out the window.
Mr. Nerd hung up his cell phone. "It's time. Mr. Doyle wants us to move."
Millwall Brick took a drag from another Turner D. Century cigarette. "Oh goody!" Then, looking at Garbage Man he said. "You there, Bin Man. Take the boy and throw him in your Bin Truck. We're going to your favorite place"
Garbage Man smiled, picked up Towel Boy and carried him over to a large, gray garbage truck that said 'Doyle's Junk Yard' on the side.
**
The Punisher hid in the trees outside an hotel building, holding binoculars. In his sights were a dozen mob goons, carrying automatic guns, surrounding and protecting one man. Garrison Doyle. A ruthless mob boss that Frank chad been scoping out for a few days now.
Garrison hung up his cell phone and walked to his white limo.
Now was the time to strike. Frank aimed his rifle. Squeezing the tr..
A towel flew up in front of his face.
"What? Ah, frack. I don't have time for this."
The towel formed into an S. Then an O. Then another S. It repeated this twice.
Garrison Doyle's limo drove away.
"Alright. It's too late now. Damn towel." Frank sighed. "What do you need help with?"
The towel formed a T. Then an O. Then a W.
"Alright. I get it," he said. "Towel Boy needs help. Where is he?"
The towel formed into an arrow. Frank loaded his gear up into a truck and followed the arrow.
**
Doyle's Junk Yard
Millwall Brick and his Rovers stood in the middle of a dirt field, surrounded by a maze of junked car stacks. Kneeling at his feet was Towel Boy, naked and bleeding.
A white limo drove up towards them.
Millwall Brick flicked Towel Boy. "See. There's the boss himself. Owner of this trash heap. A fine, upstanding septic, that one."
Garrison Doyle stepped out of his limo. Mr. Nerd walked up to Doyle and shook his hand. "Mr. Doyle. Pleasure as alw.."
"Shut the hell up, Cow!" Millwall Brick shouted."I'll talk to the man. You just sit back."
Doyle looked at Millwall Brick. "Mr. Brick, I assume?"
"My dad was Mr. Brick," he replied. "You can call me Millwall."
Doyle walked over to Towel Boy. "This the super hero? The one who knows Punisher?" Doyle looked the young man over. "Are you sure?"
A dark, gravelly voice came on over the loudspeaker. "Let the kid go, Doyle. You want me. I'm here."
Doyle pulled out his hand gun and pointed it at Towel Boys head, whose eyes were closed and face was focused.
"Come out, Punisher," Doyle yelled. "You want two bodies buried out here or just one."
"A lot more than that." Punisher replied.
A towel flew over everyone's head.
A shot rang out. Doyle dropped dead to the ground with a hole between his eyes.
Several live grenades and dynamite dropped from the flying towel towards Doyle's men's feet.
BOOM
The Rovers all scrambled away as the Punisher began firing his M-60 at Doyle's remaining goons. Millwall Brick grabbed Towel Boy and ran, Mr. Nerd followed.
Garbage Man and Dog Leash disappeared in a cloud of flies. Jumping straight into his garbage truck, Garbage Man drove straight at the Punisher.
Frank saw a giant mass of flies heading straight towards him and heard the engine of the garbage truck inside it. Dropping his M-60, he jumped out of the way of the dump truck. Grabbing his grenade launcher, he aimed it at the giant mass of flies hiding the speeding truck as it turned for another pass.
Before he could fire, Frank was tackled to the ground.Dog Leash stood before him with his bladed leash in one hand and a sawed off shotgun in the other. Dog Leash lashed at Punisher, who took the slash so he could sidle up to Dog Leash's left arm and smash the shotgun out of his hand.
Dog Leash pushed Punisher up against a wall of piled up cars and began spinning his blade leash around his neck.
"I'll eat your bones!" Dog Leash snarled, as he swung his blade at Punisher's face.
Punisher grabbed a rusty pipe and deflected another blade swipe upwards. The bladed leash caught itself on a car door. Dog Leash couldn't get it out. Snarling at Punisher he pounced, who smacked him in the face with the pipe, then dove to the ground as the dog faced man went into a rage.
Bouncing up from the ground with the sawed off shotgun in his hand, Punisher pointed it at Dog Leash's knees, blasting off both kneecaps. As both legs fell to the ground, Dog Leash swung backwards, hanging by his leash.
Frank saw the garbage truck veering in his direction again. 'The M60 will take care of that.' He thought as he ran towards it.
The sound of glass breaks behind him. Punisher slows down, as does the garbage truck.
Clock Breaker walks up to Frank and slaps him in the face with a glove. "That was for poor Dog Leash, you brute. He was a good boy.. sometimes."
Clock Breaker walked over to the M-60. "I'll give you a taste of your own medicine." he said as he tried to lift the large machine gun. He dropped it. Struggled to lift it again. Tried pointing it at Frank. "This.. oh dear. This is for all the..grr.. ugh.. Geez. This is heavy."
Clock Breaker managed to hold up the M-60. Then he looked at Frank Castle's eyes. He was staring back at Clock Breaker. A Glock was in his hand. He was slowly raising it towards Clock Breaker. The Punisher had murder in his eyes.
Clock Breaker squealed. "Oh my.. time to leave." He dropped the M-60 and ran as fast as he could from Frank, who's hand steadily rose. The Glock aimed straight forward as Clock Breaker bobbed and weaved through broken down cars.
Frank slowly squeezed the trigger. A bullet flew out of the gun at half its normal speed. It hit Clock Breaker in the chest, through the lungs.
'Damn, I was aiming for his heart.' Frank thought. As Clock Breaker drowned in his own blood, normal time sped back up.
Punisher ran and jumped out of the way as Garbage Man drove his truck in the wall of cars, crushing Dog Leash's body and causing the cars to fall onto the truck. Garbage Man kicked the door open and slowly stepped out of the truck. Blood trickled down his face. A giant swarm of flies surrounded him, forming into a giant fist.
"The flies will consume your dead flesh." he yelled.
Punisher walked past the M-60 and picked up his grenade launcher, pointing it straight at Garbage Man. The giant fly fist flipped the Punisher off.
Frank smiled as he shot a grenade straight at Garbage Man, who exploded in a great fireball, more cars fell on top of him and the giant, fly swarm, middle finger.
**
In another section of the junkyard, Millwall Brick and Mr. Nerd had carried Towel Boy to a special clearing.
"Alright. You got my help. Now may I please go?" Mr. Nerd nervously asked Millwall Brick.
"Yes, Cow. You can finally run off." he answered.
"It's Mr.."
"Right! Mr. Nerd," Millwall Brick replied. "Now, Mr. Nerd, run off to the rest of the cow herd. This next part's for men," Looking down at Towel Boy he added. "Or what you septics might call cowboys."
Mr. Nerd ignored him as he jumped on his motorcycle he had stashed in the junkyard, started it up and drove off.
Millwall Brick left Towel Boy bleeding, wrapped in his towel and laying in the middle of the clearing as he jumped inside a crane.
Towel Boys towel flew off him.
**
Mr. Nerd drove as fast as he could through the maze of piled up cars.
As he reared a corner, a bloody towel flew up into his face. Blinded, he tried to ease up on the gas but the towel wrapped itself around the gas clutch.
Mr. Nerd drove straight into a forklift, impaling himself on the fork.
The towel flew up back towards its master.
**
Punisher saw Towel Boy lying on the ground. The poor kid had taken a terrible beating. Frank ran up to him, as the flying towel returned to the young hero. Frank took off his leather jacket and put it on the young man as his towel wrapped around his waist.
"It's a trap!" Towel Boy whispered to Frank. "Don't forget.. to.. bring a towel!" he added before passing out.
"Take it easy kid." Frank replied as he gently laid him down.
Millwall Brick turned on the crane. A giant magnet hung above the Punishers head. His guns, knives and explosives flew up to the magnet.
"Just you and me now, Punisher." Millwall Brick said over the loudspeaker. "No guns, no knives, no mates. Just you, me and well.. okay, I do have one little advantage."
Millwall Brick jumped down from the crane, held up his newspaper bludgeon. "It's called a Millwall Brick. Just like me.I used to use these crafty little brain bashers back in my hooligan days. Ah, F-Troop. I miss those mean nutters."
The Punisher walked straight toward Millwall Brick with murder in his eyes.
Millwall Brick giggled. "Oooh! It's time to dance."
He raised his makeshift bludgeon and rushed towards Punisher while singing.
"No one likes us,"
SMACK
"No one likes us,"
POP
"No one likes us,"
CRACK
"We don't care!"
WHOP
"We.. are..Millwall,"
CHOKE
"ss.. Super.. Millwa.."
SHOVE
"..cough.. We argh. millwll.."
CHOKE
"..frm.. th.. gag.. Dnn.."
Frank shoved Millwall Bricks namesake weapon down his throat.
Millwall Brick choked to death on his own Millwall brick.
**
Later- New York Hospital
Frank gripped the bloody towel as the nurse talked to him.
"I'm sorry Mr. Castle. Your friend didn't make it. His injuries were too severe. If you know his next of.."
**
Later-Later- Central Park
Punisher sat in some bushes. Stalking his next prey.
A super hero landed behind him. Spider-Man? Daredevil? Thor? Didn't matter.
"Need help?"
Frank pulled out his Glock without looking.
"Leave!"
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