The Joker vs. YOU

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reignmaker

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#1  Edited By reignmaker

The Joker vs. YOU

You: This is a scenario which involves the real-life version of you. So you're stuck with your current weight, height, combat experience (or lack thereof), etc.

Situation: In a twisted game of fate, you are thrown into Joker's cell in Arkham Asylum and left in the locked cell with him. The objective is to survive a gladiator-style confrontation with him five times (different versions of his character). In each round, he is armed with a shank while you start with a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.

Rules: Only one of you may survive. If you succeed past one round, you get a day to rest for the next round the following night. Assume a healer is on hand to purge any wounds that may have been inflicted in the previous fight. So you're not limited by those should you survive a particularly difficult round.

Question: How far do you get?

Round 1: You vs. this Joker...

Round 2: You vs. this Joker...

Round 3: You vs. this Joker...

Round 4: You vs. this Joker...

Round 5: You vs. this Joker...

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Jayfournines

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#2  Edited By Jayfournines

I make it to round four...can't see the pic of round 5

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SoA

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#3  Edited By SoA

<----stop at round 3 :(

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bigcimmerian

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#4  Edited By bigcimmerian

I have no chance against mutated Joker, but against the rest I can prevail if I defeat my fear first.

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Bane_of_sith

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#5  Edited By Bane_of_sith

Don't think a bat will even matter in round five lol

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deactivated-60ae841330527

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Round 4...maybe, I'd tell them "they can kill me but will never corrupt me, I'll never kill them", and see how far that gets me, nut sure if that will work on 5

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reignmaker

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#7  Edited By reignmaker

I think Heath's Joker takes me out. That dude can be vicious.

Starting at 0:18...

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Dracade102

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#8  Edited By Dracade102

I stop at round four. Even if anybody possibly could get passed him, how would Joker even fit in his own cell in round 5?

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Hyperlight

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#9  Edited By Hyperlight

i stop at round 3

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Pyrogram

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#10  Edited By Pyrogram

Stop at 4 , If I get overly lucky, I get to 5, then stomped.

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JonSmith

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#11  Edited By JonSmith

I'm stopping at Round 3. Joker's skilled with a knife.

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TheCheeseStabber

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#12  Edited By TheCheeseStabber

Wait is Joker in round 5 Arkham Asylum Joker (My picture doesn't work)

I think I stop at 3

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nickzambuto

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#13  Edited By nickzambuto

Doubt anyone's getting past comic Joker. He's no Batman, but Joker is still plenty capable of taking on most any "normal" guy. Dat super sanity is gonna allow him to pretty much predict every one of our slow clumsy attacks, and with his years of experience + pain tolerance he can make short work of any Arkham Guard, let alone a Comic Vine user. Nice thread though OP, I look forward to someone trying to debate for themselves lol.

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Franchise1590

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#14  Edited By Franchise1590

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

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reignmaker

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#15  Edited By reignmaker

@TheCheeseStabber said:

Wait is Joker in round 5 Arkham Asylum Joker (My picture doesn't work)

I think I stop at 3

Yeah, and he's juiced up on Bane's venom.

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Thor's hammmer

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#16  Edited By Thor's hammmer

how tough are the jokers man parts in round 5? if you really were ruthless with that bat and you cared as little for the joker as he did for you, you might be able to do some damage but i haven't played the arkam game so i'm not sure how large strong and tough that jokster really is. for all I know you would snap that bat off even Ting off down there full strength.

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reignmaker

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#17  Edited By reignmaker

@Franchise1590 said:

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

I've played it. But I got bored, and didn't finish it. What would be fair do you think? I'm open to suggestions.

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Tholt

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#18  Edited By Tholt

Up to round 5 where I turn into a bloody smear for him to finger paint with in his padded cell depending on how large the cell is.

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spawn_123

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#19  Edited By spawn_123

I stop at 3 or 4

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NyghtMare

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#20  Edited By NyghtMare

I clear it, depending on the last Joker.

The amped Joker from Arkham Asylum was an idiot and kept turning his back. If he did it in that fight, I'd hit him in the nuts and when he doubled over, I'd go to town on his face. If last Joker is actually fighting and not fooling around, then nobody is getting past him.

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TheCheeseStabber

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#21  Edited By TheCheeseStabber

@Reignmaker: @Thor's hammmer said:

how tough are the jokers man parts in round 5? if you really were ruthless with that bat and you cared as little for the joker as he did for you, you might be able to do some damage but i haven't played the arkam game so i'm not sure how large strong and tough that jokster really is. for all I know you would snap that bat off even Ting off down there full strength.

Yah no one is ever getting past him with a bat.

He's Like bone shattering punches and can lift you with one hand.

Batman only beat him with and explosive punch in the face after numerous heavy electrocutions,

his claws are more powerful then the shank.

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CBninja

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#22  Edited By CBninja

I get to five before I'm stopped. I think 3 gives me alittle troube but there is no one getting past 5.

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reignmaker

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#23  Edited By reignmaker

@nickzambuto said:

Doubt anyone's getting past comic Joker. He's no Batman, but Joker is still plenty capable of taking on most any "normal" guy. Dat super sanity is gonna allow him to pretty much predict every one of our slow clumsy attacks, and with his years of experience + pain tolerance he can make short work of any Arkham Guard, let alone a Comic Vine user. Nice thread though OP, I look forward to someone trying to debate for themselves lol.

Yeah, I had no idea that we had so many self-confident fans on Comic Vine. At least 4-5 posters have already claimed they'd make it to the final round. Unless you've got some serious military, martial arts, or law enforcement background, I don't know how anyone passes round 4.

Round 5 was meant to be more of a joke, but if some of you seriously think you can reach that point and need some more capable equipment, let me know. I'm open to altering my original post. Just don't tell me something completely overpowered like a lightsaber.

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TheCowman

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#24  Edited By TheCowman

Cesar Romero schools my ***.

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Super_SoldierXII

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#25  Edited By Super_SoldierXII

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

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Franchise1590

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#26  Edited By Franchise1590

@Reignmaker said:

@Franchise1590 said:

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

I've played it. But I got bored, and didn't finish it. What would be fair do you think? I'm open to suggestions.

We'd need a sword or something, Joker could tank things like electric shocks and whatnot. That bat would break on his super durable skin.

Plus we'd have no where to avoid him in a tiny cell with how big he was. Joker would break us like twigs, then play with our bones before killing us in that round.

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JamesKM716

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#27  Edited By JamesKM716

I get killed in Round 3... maybe if i'm lucky Round 4

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Thor's hammmer

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#28  Edited By Thor's hammmer

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

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reignmaker

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#29  Edited By reignmaker

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

LOL. So true.

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Franchise1590

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#30  Edited By Franchise1590

@Reignmaker said

Yeah, I had no idea that we had so many self-confident fans on Comic Vine. At least 4-5 posters have already claimed they'd make it to the final round. Unless you've got some serious military, martial arts, or law enforcement background, I don't know how anyone passes round 4.

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

Only reason I think I make to the the 4th round is because of pain tolerance tbh. Even then comic Joker wrecks my shit in round 4 especially because I'll be feeling myself by then lol.

I wouldnt mind losing fingers if I can nail him one good time with the bat. Honestly I only have to knock him down then he loses and Heath Ledger Joker didn't show much impressive imo.

I do admit I could see myself making a mistake and losing in round 3 pretty quickly as well.

Good thread.

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TheTmac

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#31  Edited By TheTmac

No one on the vine is making it past round 4.

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TheBatman586

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#32  Edited By TheBatman586

I'd probably die at round 3.

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Mattersuit

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#33  Edited By Mattersuit

The cell's too enclosed for a bat to use. I'd probably just try to go h2h with him or take his shank.

That said, I wouldn't get past even round 2.

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Super_SoldierXII

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#34  Edited By Super_SoldierXII

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

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CalebHara

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#35  Edited By CalebHara

I would stop at 4.

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Super_SoldierXII

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#36  Edited By Super_SoldierXII

@Franchise1590:

Only reason I think I make to the the 4th round is because of pain tolerance tbh. Even then comic Joker wrecks my shit in round 4 especially because I'll be feeling myself by then lol.

I wouldnt mind losing fingers if I can nail him one good time with the bat. Honestly I only have to knock him down then he loses and Heath Ledger Joker didn't show much impressive imo.

I do admit I could see myself making a mistake and losing in round 3 pretty quickly as well.

Well, Heath's Joker did insta kill hired mob muscle with a pencil in what was one quick, brutal and lethal fluid motion.

Go into your walk-in closet and try swinging a bat effectively. Now try doing it effectively with a hardened, combat savvy psychopath with a knife coming at you ... calm and collected as can be ...

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SoA

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#37  Edited By SoA

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

agreed .

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YourNeighborhoodComicGeek

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Round 1 - 1960's Joker wasn't exactly that skilled in the movie. If PIS/his Toon-Force doesn't carry over then I would win. His short-range knife wouldn't reach me before I slug him in the head and knock him out.

Round 2 - Batman : The Brave & The Bold Joker wasn't too skilled, but still good enough to give Batman a brief fight. That being said, I wouldn't last 2 seconds with Batman. Joker having only a knife would heighten my chances of winning, but it's still pretty slim.

Round 3 - Same as Round 2 really.

Round 4 - I get killed horribly. Comic Joker is at minimum an adept street fighter. I have no combat experience other than 1-2 years of Tae Kwon Do, and I didn't even learn much from those classes anyways.

Round 5 - I get one-shotted.

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80sBaby

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#39  Edited By 80sBaby

Personally, I think the Joker's rep is more hype/PIS than anything else. His opponents always undersetimate him which allows him to catch them off-guard. Any good Joker feats where he beats somebody straight-up?

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#40  Edited By consolemaster001

4

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#41  Edited By Bruxae

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

^ This.

I find it hilarious how many people in this thread is so full of themselfs when in reality almost if not everyone would be dead at round 2 or 3, Im thinking the ones making it to round 4 I could count on 1 hand.

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nickzambuto

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#42  Edited By nickzambuto

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

dude stfu I play Metal Gear Solid and read comic books. I will kick all the asses of the joker and have him crying like a little babby.

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Super_SoldierXII

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#43  Edited By Super_SoldierXII

@nickzambuto said:

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

dude stfu I play Metal Gear Solid and read comic books. I will kick all the asses of the joker and have him crying like a little babby.

Lol.

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TheCheeseStabber

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#44  Edited By TheCheeseStabber

Im changing my answer.

I Fall at round Two due to Toon Force...

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AmazingScrewOnHead

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I get to round 4 and die horribly just like everybody else yes even the ones who are SAS,Black ops and Master martial artists and nobody living in the world today can beat Titan Joker.

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ximpossibrux

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#46  Edited By ximpossibrux

Lol no one on this vine is getting past round 3, I don't care if you lift Joker will tear you apart.

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JediXMan

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#47  Edited By JediXMan  Moderator

I win round 1 and possibly 2. I lose round 3 unless I get standard equipment (for me, that would be a sword).

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Franchise1590

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#48  Edited By Franchise1590

I just don't think the pencil trick is enough prove the fighting prowess of Heath Ledger Joker. I mean it's cool but that didn't know how dangerous the Joker was and underestimated him.

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Alice_Summers

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#49  Edited By Alice_Summers

guys you all stop at round 2 and 5 the rest are easy

round 2 joker beat wonder woman in h2h, yah your fudged.

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loadofmilark

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#50  Edited By loadofmilark

i could maybe get past 2 at a push but no-one here is beating 4 and only a handful are beating 3 i mean all the people saying 4 don't know what they are talking about