Essential Dazzler Vol. 3?
Really?
Anyone who's followed Dazzler (also known as the scant few who bought this comic) would already know what "Dazzler #1" offers: a boring re-cap of the fact that "at one time, somewhere, Dazzler mattered!"
We got this years ago with the "Beyond the Music" tongue-in-cheek re-cap of the Dazzler series, featuring -- you guessed it -- Dr. Doom, the Enchantress, and the other "big bads" and conveniently placed "guest stars" of the early series. That may have been a salient re-cap then, but since then we have two Essential Dazzler volumes and the lovely, ever-growing internet to tell us "Wow, Dazzler did something outside of the X-Men!"
That's all this story is. Dazzler is caught in the most convenient plot trap of all time: Arcade (lol wut?) puts Dazzler in a room where she faces robo-bots of the Grapplers (?), Galactus, Dr. Doom, the Enchantress, Rogue, and Emma Frost. All of these "cameos" last for a panel or even less, as a veritable "Rogue's Gallery" (no pun intended) of Dazzler's early-80's big bads.
The story makes no sense. Her sister, Lois (recently revived in X-Necrosha) wants to kill Dazzler, but apparently that's just a strange drive to capture Dazzler -- who then puts on her old disco gigs for what reason exactly? -- and throw her in a room to remind people that once upon a December she, like, fought some Marvel big bads under Jim Shooter's editorial edict.
.... 'kay.
There's no urgency, there's no drive, there's no forward momentum. It's just another re-tread of "Dazzler was once important!" without the comedy and flair of the aforementioned "Beyond the Music" short. The mastermind -- Mortis -- is knocked down with one punch as an afterthought. A truly abysmal comic that is wholly unnecessary in the internet age where all of this is available at any curious reader's fingertips.
The back-up story is just angst and mary-sueist writer projection. "GOD MOM YOU'RE SUCH A HO!!!!" Dazzler screams in her head as the reader rolls their eyes. Dazzler whines and cries, blaming her mom for not "taking care" of the "evil" Mortis, when any Dazzler reader -- the target audience for this token book -- would know that Dazzler herself forced Lois to leave New York (and their mom) and took her on a whirlwind ride to California.
It gets a bonus 1/2 star for the great -- really great -- Dazzler/Cyclops conversation in the back-up. It makes you root for Dazzler. But that should be in Uncanny, and not in this ridiculous book.
Want Dazzler history? Buy the available Essential volumes on amazon.com. This is just strange, 20-years-too-late nostalgic masturbation over something you can easily find anywhere on the internet. Dazzler deserved better.
