The Professor Returns
Professor BatWatch is back and ready to hand out a heaping lump of praise and criticism to all the Bat books. Beware the wrath of the Professor.
As with last time, grades are rated on all issues from August 1st to December 9th. If you missed last week’s delivery of the grades, Click Here.
BIRDS OF PREY: C-
Miss Lance! Lovely of you to join me today. As you can see, your grades have slipped a little bit since last year. You are still managing your work acceptably, but if you really want your pick of jobs in the military, you will need to buckle down and do better. When we really break down your work and examine it, it is clear that you started off the semester strong with your Zero project, but things soon went downhill after that. Ninja groups who use dagger that are called Daggers? A new character named Condor without any motivation or discernible personality? Your work is filled with unanswered questions, and that is really the cause of this grade. Is something distracting you? Boy trouble perhaps? Well then, if you are going to run off crying I guess we will have to call this session adjourned.
CATWOMAN: F
Miss Kyle, I do not even know where to start with you. Perhaps we should start with the good or what little there was of it. Your Zero project brought a lot of criticism from your classmates, and not all of it was ill founded, but though it certainly was not perfect, I respected your decision to go in a different direction than everybody expected. That takes boldness of character, young lady. However, and I can think of no delicate way to say this, your Joker project was an atrocity. You may have had interesting ideas, but your organization was dreadful; though parts of your project were clever, many parts defied comprehension altogether. Please, take the time to organize your thoughts before you write, and then reread your work once it is completed.
There is also the matter of you rifling through other students’ lockers. Oh I know you have not been caught recently, but I know your track record, and all these rumors are not floating around without some cause. Perhaps if you spent more time studying and less time rummaging through others’ belongings, you might finally catch the eye of that Mr. Wayne you are always eyeing. Miss Kyle, the cost of that chair will be added to your tuition! Get out of my office before I have you expelled. Oh, and one more thing. I hope to see you wearing actual clothes next semester! Your harlot outfits are distracting all the young men.
DETECTIVE COMICS: C-
I’m deeply sorry to be giving you this grade, Mr. Comics, for your recent work has been quite delightful. The problem, you see, is with your Zero project where you turned in an assignment that simply did not live up to the quality that I expect from you. Did we really need yet another dreadful tale which forces us to listen to bargain bin pseudo-philosophical mumbojumbo? Did we really need a story about how Batman gained a father figure, mother figure, and girlfriend only to lose them all to a grisly and convoluted murder? No, we did not. As a well respected student, you should be setting a great example that all others may follow, but at least with that assignment, you dropped the ball. However, you have since improved greatly since you have begun tutoring sessions with Mr. Layman. If you continue under his tutelage, I am optimistic that I will be giving you a solid B or perhaps even an A next semester.
LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT: C
Now, Mr. Knight, I am really not supposed to say things like this, but the truth is that you are one of my favorite students. Your interactions in class always bring a fresh perspective, and the issues you raise are often insightful and creative. Sadly, the quality of your final product is not always as impressive as one might hope. Some of your projects have shown excellent insight while others have been almost painful to read and even more are simply acceptable. Despite some brilliant projects, the sum total of your work is completely average. If it is any consolation, you fared much better than your brother, Dark. If you can focus a little more on making sure each project is of the highest quality, I think you can bring your grade up a little.
NIGHTWING: ?
Mr. Grayson, if you could join me- what’s that? Somebody called in a bomb threat to the school. Drat! A prank no doubt, but by the time we get this sorted away, we will never have time to get through the rest of the students. I wonder…could somebody be trying to delay receiving their grades? Who would be so desperate to do that? Could it be…?
Well, it will have to wait until next week. Class Dismissed!
A Mystery
Due to my preparation for Christmas and my computer issues, I was not able to complete today’s commentary, but that’s okay, we still have five Bat books left to go, and we will get to them in part three next Friday. In the mean time, how do you feel about the grades, and who do you think had such bad grades they were willing to make up a fake threat to get out of school? The suspects are Mr. Grayson, Ms. Fairchild, Mr. Todd, Mr. Rose, and Ms. Wayne. Any thoughts?
Look for Monday’s article, “The Best Batman Series You’ve Never Read”
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