OMG! OMG! OK! Magazine just reported that Zac Efron is the new Spider-Man!
And he’s getting paid £9 million, no less! Is that more than $10 million? And Vanessa Hudgens is slated to be the new Mary Jane, totally reuniting them from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! And they’ll be working for … Universal Studios?
Wait, Spidey 4’s owned by Sony.
While the prospect of Universal pulling a NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN and making their own rival Spider-Man movie tickles me, the prospect's also thoroughly unbelievable, like most of what gets “reported” in this British tabloid. If a mistake as glaring as confusing Sony with Universal can get past their fact-checker, you have to question the veracity of the rest of the article.
Hey, listen, I’m not saying this couldn’t prove true. Maybe it’ll happen eventually, maybe not, but for now, I’d say you can trust this scoop as much as you can trust the scoops from a while back about Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler and Cher playing Catwoman in BATMAN 3. Or the reports last week of Clive Owen being pegged as playing Kraven in Spidey 4 - - reports that were news to him.
Spidey or not, Efron’s going to get his comics connection anyway when he stars in the big screen adaptation of Bendis’ spy thriller FIRE. In the mean time, maybe the Comic Vine community ought to do its own little fantasy football draft. Would Efron stand toe-to-toe with Owen? If not them, then who else should fill Spider-Man and Kraven’s shoes? And, most importantly, why haven’t any rumors circulated about Aunt May yet? Who should play the new Aunt May?!
--Tom Pinchuk is the writer of UNIMAGINABLE for Arcana Comics and HYBRID BASTARDS! for Archaia Comics. Watch out for the HYBRID BASTARDS! hardcover collection this March - - available for pre-order now on Amazon.com.